ИСТОЧНИК

In May 1373, when she was thirty-one, she prayed that she would know what Christ suffered. As if in answer, she became dangerously ill. Over three days and nights, as her mother and several friends tended her, she lost the ability to move or speak. On the fourth night, a priest gave her the last rites. Two days and two nights later, she was still clinging to life, but “dead from the waist down.”

When the priest returned in the morning, he set a crucifix before her fixed eyes. To her sight the room seemed dark, but she could see the crucifix, and she suddenly felt all her pain leave her. She had wanted to understand divine suffering. Instead, in what might be considered the wise and paradoxical grace of the Spirit, over the course of the next twenty-four hours she had sixteen revelations of divine love.

Her revelations began with the Crucifixion, which many people consider the most ghastly part of the whole Gospel. The revelation of the Crucifixion told Julian that God suffers with us and for us. He sees the sacrifices we make - for children, parents, work, freedom, strangers, friends. He understands sacrifice as an expression of love. He hopes that our sacrifices will strengthen and transform us and give us joy. Julian saw and felt that when we reach out to hug another person, and our arms open wide, our body makes the shape of the cross - the cross of love. But having discovered love, she almost immediately disowned her visions.

While Julian was recovering, she described her revelations to the visiting priest. She told him she must have been dreaming or mad. He listened silently then told her what he thought.

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